Amiability-The Path to Popularity

Don't you want to be popular? Don't you want friends? Don't you want to influence people? Then you better read this article!

I learned these from an excellent book called How to win Friends and Influence People. As aspiring influencers and avid readers you would definitely benefit from these tips.


On May 7th, 1931, A famous criminal-two gun Crowley was captured. Francis "Two-Gun" Crowley was an American murderer. His crime spree lasted nearly three months, ending in a two-hour shootout with the New York City Police Department on May 7, 1931.that was witnessed by 15,000 bystanders and received national attention. He became the archetype of the Irish gangster.

When caught he said"This is what I get for defending people."

If a serious criminal like Crowley thought like that what do you think other people think.?99% of people always think that they are right. So what happens when you try to tell them that they are wrong? They defend and justify themselves. So what do you do?

If you want to gather honey do not kick over the beehive.

William James said that the deepest craving of humans is the craving to be appreciated.


Mr. Ramesh was a physics teacher at a coaching institute. He was short-tempered and was known as Attila Ramesh among the students. It so that happened Bradley a typical student didn't find listening to Attilas boring lecture that day and snored away to slumber. "Alex Bradley get up now!"Attila shouted. And lo he poured over a series of insults and heinous comments on his nature. If it had been someone else would be reduced to ashes before him. But what Brad did surprised the whole class.

"You are right sir. It was completely stupid of me to sleep while you are saying such an important thing in the class. I am really sorry. I am ready to stand outside the class!."Ramesh, the violent physics teacher suddenly changed to a clam considerate human being."I am happy you understand the gravity of the situatuion.Sit bak in the class Bradley I am proud of such a responsible student! ".Brad remained Ramesh's favorite student until he passed from school.

What Bradley did can be broken down into the basic craving of a human. To be appreciated. Brad did that. And changed a lion to a rabbit.

1. If you are wrong accept it quickly and emphatically.


Louis was the owner of the Supreme catering services. His profits were dropping down. All hotels rejected his service. They were adamant to resume the traditional way of lodge business. But once he used this method! Lodges bought his services. What did he do?

Arouse in the other person an eager want. One who does this has the whole world with him.

This is what he did, He met the owner of the Lodge."I assume you have high profits this year!"Louis asked."No actually it has reduced. Why did you ask?" he asked the owner."Don't you want your customers to stay longer?""Yes.""You could do that if they did have to go out to get food.""You are right Mr. Louis. Oh, Did not you mention that you offer catering services? Why don't you help us in the business.?"What followed need not be said.

Find what THEY need.


Use the Yes-Yes Method. Here is the demonstration.


"Would you like to buy our weighing machine?"



"Would you like to be healthy all your life?"


"Would you like to lose weight?"


"Then don't you think buying a weighing machine would be essential?"

"Yes, I need one."

See the difference.


It is very human to feel the need to be accepted. To be be appreciated. But the trick is not imposing yourself on others. It is to listen to them and echo back their opinions. Rather than highlighting what you differ with. Amplify what you agree with them. I hope it helps.

Do tell me what you think about this. I will happily read your comments!

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Location : Thiruvananthapuram, Kerala